How I Do It: Woman's response to people saying her husband is unhappy - Metro.co.uk

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Illustration of two people, a woman and a man, sat on the floor in front of their blue sofa with video game consoles in their hands and a box of pizza — I always fancied a man who could make me laugh. And George makes me laugh so hard that my bones hurt (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Last week in How I Do It, our weekly sex and love diary, we shared a story about a newlywed man, George*, 26, who prefers to play video games with his wife, Beth*, rather than have sex.

The couple have mismatched sex drives, with Beth, 27, wanting to get freaky more often than her hubby – and people often say that they are more like best friends than a ‘traditional’ couple.

After George’s diary came out, many people claimed that his wife is secretly unhappy with their sex life.

So, naturally, this week, we asked Beth to have her say.

‘Last week, my husband shared his sex diary – our sex diary – and got labelled “boring” and was told he was a “loser” for meeting the love of his life, and being able to eat snacks with her in his pants in front of Mario Kart,’ she says.

‘This is my response, to prove to you that sex really isn’t everything.’

Friday

It’s a Friday night and what does that mean? If you said party, you’re wrong.

I’m hoovering as my parents gave me 36 hours’ notice to come visit, they’re 40 minutes away and our pubes still litter the toilet seat. We also decide to give up our bed for them.

‘When was the last time we had sex? Do we have to change the sheets?’ I ask my husband, who responds with ‘gross’, while fighting to strip the bed as if he’s wrestling a goat.

We sleep on the day bed in the spare bedroom – and f**k me I feel bad for ever giving my guests this rickety hunk of junk. The bed has two single mattresses on, with a huge groove down the middle, so we can’t spoon. I’m devastated, but my husband seems elated.

Saturday

Again, we are resigned to the spare bed while my parents snooze in luxury next door. It reminds me of being younger, inviting boys over to sneak into my room.

George was the only man I was ever allowed in my bed back home, and we’d go to bed together all cute and cuddly, and then when the lights went off in the house, we’d f*** – covering each other’s mouths with our hands to stifle the noise. It was hot. I miss being young and hot.

Now, I can’t sleep as the foxes are screaming outside my window, but at least someone’s having fun.

Sunday

We go out for drinks with one of George’s friends (Adam*) and I leave early for my virtual book club. George always texts me when he’s 10 minutes away and this time I decided to wait outside to give him a hug on the porch. He smells of beer and the beard oil I got him last Christmas.

‘Adam has a girlfriend,’ George says into my hair. I’m shocked – he’s the “lone wolf” type. He says that seeing us together has changed his perspective of relationships, and his whole view on marriage in general.

I hug George tighter.

Monday

I can tell George has had a bad day just by the sadness in his eyes. So it’s a wine and let-him-control-the-telly kinda night.

We watch a football documentary and I tell him I fancy someone on his team. He mounts me and starts tickling me until I choke on my laughter – proper rollicking belly laughter.

Later, as we’re brushing our teeth I do a sexy dance on the bathroom door. He spits out his toothpaste, looks me up and down and says: ‘Don’t creak those knees at me’.

I always fancied a man who could make me laugh. And George makes me laugh so hard that my bones hurt.

Tuesday

Tonight is special as Bake Off is on. We eat snacks, laugh at contestants serving raw cake, shop for floor lamps, and start snogging in the kitchen.

George takes off my trackies and dirty jumper and we have slow, passionate spoon sex. It then gets dirty and he puts his fingers in my mouth as we both climax.

After, we stretch our toes as we cuddle.

Wednesday

After the fun of last night I’m feeling needy, so I keep peeking at George through the holes in the door of the spare room (his office).

Sometimes I like just watching him – it sounds so creepy, I know.

He somehow always, always knows that I’m there, because no matter how busy he is and tries to ignore me, I can see the corners of his lips turn up slightly into a smile at my presence.

I go out for dinner with a friend and I miss him.

Thursday

‘Well done baby, I’m proud of you,’ I grin, reaching out my hand to pull George to his feet after he’s jumped from a high wall at bouldering. Though we both have to wake up at 7am, and we’re stroppy, I love these mornings. It’s our ‘us’ time – our climbing sessions are our version of dates.

I don’t need diamonds or flowers, fancy wanky meals or cocktails. Just give me my husband in some tight climbing shorts 10 feet in the air and I’ll be on my way.

People always seem to complain when a woman has too much sex, or too little. They don’t see what goes on behind the scenes, the moments we share together like this. The (literal) mountains we climb and conquer together.

Yes, it’s no lie that our sex life isn’t as wild as it used to be. My sex drive used to be way, way higher when George and I were first dating. It was electric, it was exciting – it still is, just not four times a night.

When we started living together after we got engaged, we were older, professionals, adults trembling along together hand in hand in a big city, hundreds of miles from home. My sex drive stayed high, while my husband’s mellowed and became a steady line – one to fit in with his high-stress life.

There was a time where I wanted sex more than George, much more. But we’ve levelled out now, to fit each other’s wants and needs without sacrificing our own.

And it works for us.

So to the person who commented on my husband’s sex diary, saying there were ‘red flags’ in our marriage, I say this: stop feeling like you’re entitled to comment on someone’s version of happiness.

My life may seem so boring in comparison to some, or even yours (unlikely), but to me, it’s perfect. I’ve found my soulmate, and I would give up sex for the rest of my life if it meant I got to be with him for just one second longer than I’m destined too.

My husband is loving, he is kind, he is funny, he is gorgeous.

I’m his sidekick, and he’s my hero. In fact, I fall in love with him more and more each day – which makes the sex we have even better.

*Names have been changed.

How I Do It

In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.

Fancy taking part yourself? Email almara.abgarian@metro.co.uk for more information.

MORE: How I Do It: The single man masturbating his way through 14 days of isolation

MORE: How I Do It: The dad-of-two who loves having sex in public with his girlfriend

MORE: How I Do It: Meet the mum-of-two who has sex all day, every day

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